The average couple spends 18 months to two years planning their wedding. One of them often takes the lead – meeting, vendors, comparing quotes, agonizing over color, palettes, organizing, timelines, and crafting the perfect celebration down to the final detail
it’s a massive investment of time, energy, and money – all for one unforgettable day. But here’s a question I often ask couples: how much time have you spent preparing for what comes after the last dance?
Marriage starts where the wedding ends. Getting married is easy. Being married? That’s where the real work begins. We’ve all heard the sobering statistics: over 50% of marriages end in divorce. Not because the love wasn’t real, or because a couple wasn’t meant to be, but often because they weren’t equipped for the reality of a lifelong partnership.
They said “I do” without fully understanding what it meant to say “I still do” through changing seasons, stress, growth, and grief.
Although it’s an added expense to the huge wedding budget, I view premarital counseling as a wise investment. The data overwhelmingly shows that couples who engage in premarital counseling are significantly more prepared for marriage.
Here’s why you might consider it:
Getting premarital counseling demonstrates your mutual desire to work together as a team. It shows that the both of you are committed to strengthening the relationship you’ve already built together.
Premarital counseling reduces the risk of divorce by up to 30%. Yes, 30%. That’s not just a statistic, that’s a second chance for your future. Numerous studies (including those cited by Psychology Today) confirm it: Premarital counseling is one of the smartest decisions a couple can making this lifelong commitment. Some states have even proposed making it a legal requirement before marriage.
It highlights what you’re already doing right and what needs work. Healthy couples aren’t perfect; they’re self-aware. Counseling helps you understand what strengthens your bond and what might be eroding it beneath the surface. When you know your strengths, you can build on them. When you see your challenges clearly, you can face them together.
It sets expectations before misunderstandings settle in. Too many couples assume their partner knows what they’re thinking. Worse, they believe love alone will smooth over future conflicts.
Premarital counseling forces important conversations before the pressure is on. Will you have kids? How will you handle money? What are your emotional deal breakers? How do career goals factor in? What kind of boundaries will you keep with exes, friends, or in-laws? These conversations now can prevent explosions later.
It’s a safe place to talk about the tough stuff. Every couple of faces challenges. The key difference is whether you deal with them openly or let them fester in silence.
Premarital counseling creates a neutral space to explore conflict – not just to solve issues, but to recognize how you handled them, and how that might need to change.
It builds better communication and conflict resolution from Day One. Would you rather start with healthy communication habits or try to untangle harmful ones years down the line?
Everyone communicates differently. One person may want to talk things through immediately, while the other needs space. One may want to avoid conflict at all costs, while the other thrives on direct confrontation.
Premarital counseling helps you create a shared language, a way of resolving conflict that honors both people, and protects the relationship from resentment, blame, and emotional distance.
It unpacks your personal “Relationship DNA.” We all bring history into our marriage: how we were raised, what we witnessed, growing up, our past relationships, religious beliefs, and even childhood wounds.
Maybe your parents never fought – or never stopped. Maybe your mom handled everything. Maybe your dad was emotionally distant. Maybe middle school still echoes in your sense of worth.
Premarital counseling doesn’t solve every issue, but it helps you name them. And when you can name them, you can stop repeating them.
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The wedding is just the beginning. Premarital counseling is like relationship insurance – it won’t make it perfect, but it will make you prepared. You’ll leave with a deeper understanding of each other, stronger communication skills, and the confidence that you’re not just planning a wedding, you’re building a marriage.
Source: Michael Satterfield
Trinity Cottage Wedding Officiants 
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